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First e-mail was the rage. Then instant messaging. Now almost every teenager has a “MySpace.” MySpace is a web site that allows people ages 14 and over to create a free, personalized site for displaying pictures, expressing themselves, listening to music, and interacting with friends. While most kids love it, many parents are nervous about it because it’s unfamiliar, takes up a lot of their child’s time, and may pose a threat of stalkers. As a mother of two, soon to be three, teenagers, I decided to check it out for myself.
My 17 year old daughter Krista coached me through the process of creating my own MySpace.
First, I went to www.myspace.com and registered, giving my name, age, city, and e-mail address, the minimum information required. Then she helped me personalize it by selecting a background design and color scheme to fit my personality. I could answer a questionnaire with questions like “Do you like thunderstorms?” “Do you smoke?” or “Do people ever call you a tease?” I could express my thoughts and feelings in a blog, so that my friends could know how I felt about pretty much anything. I began to realize why students love MySpace … it’s like decorating your room, signing a slam book (for us from the 70’s era), and keeping a diary all at once!
But that was just the beginning. The secret of MySpace’s success is that it really is all about friends. Take a picture with a friend and put it online. Other friends will write comments. Write a blog when you’re mad or sad, and someone’s bound to respond with some advice or encouragement. Since My Space sends reminders to your friends when your birthday is coming up, your big day will never go unnoticed again! How wonderful it must feel to have dozens of friends and always have someone to talk to!
MySpace is wonderfully fun, but consider possible negatives. A parent’s greatest concern is the safety of their child, and many of us have heard horror stories about young girls in particular being stalked online and lured into dangerous encounters with men misrepresenting as well-intentioned friends. Does My Space facilitate this dangerous abuse of the Internet?
MySpace allows you to set your site as private, so that only people you accept as “friends” can view your
personal information. The general public sees one photo of you (if you choose), your name, city, and age
but does not have access to your photos, blogs, etc. Secondly, if you are 14 or 15, the public doesn’t
even see this information; people must search for you specifically, request to be a “friend,” and be
accepted before they can access your profile. These security measures are helpful, but it’s up to the
individual to protect themselves, which according to my “sources,” rarely happens. Many kids misrepresent
their true age, and while I’m not pointing fingers, I believe even my dog Mission has somehow managed to
create his own MySpace! My kids also tell me that many teenagers accept almost anyone as a friend,
whether they know them or not. Just like in “real life,” if teenagers fail to select their “friends”
wisely, they set themselves up for trouble. This is especially true because of the degree of personal
information they post on their My Space, everything from the schools they attend to times they may be
home alone to their personal likes and dislikes, and of course, to numerous photos which make it easier
to be targeted. Thus, it is important to teach your child to guard their privacy online.
Assuming your child uses caution in selecting friends, you should still monitor both the content of their MySpace and the amount of time they spend on it. Sometimes the perceived anonymity of the Internet encourages people to speak too freely about personal matters, and often a young person will carry on inappropriate conversations more readily online. Additionally, parents should be concerned for a child’s physical health if they are seated at a computer for hours every day or for their emotional health if they neglect activities with friends and family because they’re addicted to the computer.
MySpace is a fascinating social phenomenon that offers a delightful variety of ways for people to express themselves and connect with others, yet it can present some real hazards to young people who don’t use it wisely. I encourage parents to take a hands-on approach. Show a genuine interest in your child, and ask them to show you their MySpace site; they’re often very proud of it! Ask them about their “friends” and calmly make them aware of the safety issues. More than that, why not be daring and ask them to help you create your own MySpace? They can become your first “friend”, giving you access to each other’s site and enabling you to build trust, develop a deeper understanding of your child, and also provide occasional guidance. And when you do, look me up; I can always use a new friend!
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